god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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