Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
