your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
as a side note pls kill me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
