my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize