Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
