covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
