I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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