I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
sex in a hospital.. check
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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