Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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