He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
