Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
