you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
