I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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