I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how can u be prego again
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
