Taylor Swift is so right about you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
