Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
