Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize