i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
