We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
