You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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