i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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