so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
