I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
