I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
