you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
