Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
not ubering you a puppy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
