The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
