...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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