I bet he comes in French.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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