Fuck appropriateness.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
