I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
