i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize