Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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