is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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