I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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