Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize