I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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