Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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