yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
