it wasn't lemon gatorade
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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