I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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