i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
