Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In America we eat man semen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
soo... how was my night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
