i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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