That's intense
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
