Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
