a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
