I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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