I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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