You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize