Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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