so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
