Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
