What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
