after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Houston, we have a blender
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize