hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My vagina is officially offended.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
