I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it was like eating out sand paper
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
