Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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