You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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