How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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