its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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