Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize