Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
