dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
