We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
