I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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