they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
