dude i'm inner monologue high
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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