he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
