When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
