you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
