So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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