I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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