I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
