My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
