I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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