I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
