i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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