I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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